I love my husband. He is my best friend. He is the best. I am so lucky to have him.
But as a breastfeeding mom, sometimes when he says stupid stuff I hate him. When it is really extremely stupid, sometimes I even have the urge to stab him in the knee with a fork. Nothing causing severe pain or trauma, but if you are an exclusively breastfeeding mom, you may understand. Don’t get me wrong, I still love him, but yeah, sometimes a fork to the knee sounds good.
Let me explain before you freak out.
There are few things that test a marriage, house renovations, buying a house, planning a vacation, or when you are highly sleep deprived and exclusively breastfeeding and you are up every 1-2 hours while he sleeps soundly for 8-10 hours every. single. night.
Now don’t go hating on him. He tries to help. He offers to help. He will get up and change her if she needs it. He will get up and rock her back to sleep sometimes. But when your baby is a boob addict, there isn’t much left for him to do. We have tried giving her a bottle, which clearly warrants screaming so bad you think the world is coming to an end. Even a bottle with breast milk will not do. She will not go for the fake stuff. She likes it straight up.
So here are some things a husband (and maybe other people) should never say to an over-tired, hormonal, breastfeeding mom.
1. “She was only up three times. That doesn’t sound too bad!” Um… what?!?! Yes total improvement over 6 times, but still yeah. I guess if you didn’t get up with her then yes it doesn’t sound too bad!
2. “I am so tired”. Really? Sorry I didn’t see you in the hallway as I went back and forth between my room and my daughter’s room. 8 hours of sleep must be hard work.
3. “Have you thought about letting her cry it out?” Yes totally, because I want her to wake up everyone in the house. And I want to be up even longer before I have to go in and feed her.
4. “I know how you feel.” Yes, you totally do, because you have boobs and you breastfeed out daughter almost 24/7. Ok. Thanks for the sympathy, but no…just no.
5. “Just try a bottle. It is no big deal to give her one” (My husband did not say this, someone else did) Trust me if it was that simple it would be done by now. I have tried. My husband has tried. She is a boob addict. She won’t take it. At all. If you want to know what is like to have your ears bleed, come over and listen to her scream when someone tries to give her a bottle.
6. “You’re still breastfeeding?! Why?” (Again, my husband did not say this to me, but someone else did) Because I want to. Because I can. And because she won’t stop.
7. “And?…” Half asleep, my husband once said this to me after complaining about my night. After I threw a pillow at him he quickly changed his tone.
8. “How much more are you really going to eat?” Thankfully it wasn’t my husband that said this. But when you are feeding another human being from your own body, it is hard work, and you get hungry. Back off.
Sometimes when someone says something stupid I just want to say…
To recap, I love my husband, he’s amazing, helpful, and super awesome. But sometimes people just say stupid stuff. At least after 3 kids, and more than a year of breastfeeding my daughter, my husband has learned a few things, like be supportive, and give me chocolate.