Adoption can be hard. Especially when it comes to trying to find your birth family. Personally it took me almost 10 years of searching before I got any answers (And honestly I am still waiting for some). It was such a long emotionally draining journey. But I finally made it, I finally found my birth family.
Here are few things I learned along the way.
1. How important it is to keep up to date information with the agency or government. Always update it. Even if you don’t think someone is looking for you. Always update it. If you move for a job, get a new phone number, get married, divorced, whatever changes you make, Please update! My birth mother never updated her information, and even though I had a number and address for her, it did me no good.
And if there is any paper work to fill out stating you don’t want to be found, fill it out, don’t ignore it, let other person know so they are not left wondering and searching.
2. Don’t let fear hold you back. It is better to find out the answers than be left wondering. Don’t let the fear of bad news hold you back from what very well may be great news.
3. When filling out paper work, don’t just print the forms from online, Call. Talk to someone who works there, have them explain every little thing to you. Then call back again to talk to someone else and double-check. Trust me! It could help save you a lot of time, and ensure you get the right forms the first time!
4. Pray and have lots of faith!
5. Make sure you are actually ready for this, good news or bad news, and know what you want out of the relationship!
6. Make sure you have a good support system around you. People to help you, people you can lean on and turn to. It can be a hard journey, a little extra support and love goes a long way.
7. Sometimes what you are hoping for, isn’t what you find. Sometimes there are no happy endings.
8. Sometimes there are happy endings.
Hopefully if both sides of the adoption (Birth Family and Adoptee) can remember to do this, their search will not take as long as mine!
If you are searching I hope you find what you are looking for. I hope your road is a smooth one, I hope you find whatever it is your, or who ever it is, you are looking for.