It is almost that birthday. I’m not sure how this has happened so fast. But alas, here it is.
I feel like I should be at a different place in my life than I am. Yet I am happy where I am. It’s extremely confusing.
I feel like I should be at the place in my life where I write post cards. I should host endless dinner parties complete with dinner games. I should have fresh-cut flowers on my table all summer long picked from my own garden. I should go to bed before 10pm every night. I should be a morning person by now. I should have more patience. I should be in a constant Zen like state. I should only watch educational stuff on TV. I should eat only organic healthy food.
But here is the thing.
When I sat down and actually thought about it I realized something; I don’t really give a crap about any of that. I’m happy where I am and with who I am.
Post cards? Ok. Sure, they would be nice, so would hand written letters. Which yes I am making a point to write more, but for now, are you on Twitter? Because I will for sure send you a Tweet!
Endless dinner parties? That sounds fun, but also exhausting. And dinner games? What is that, food fights?
Fresh cut flowers? Sure they are pretty, but they die quick, and from my garden?! Good luck with that one.
Bed before 10pm? Where is the fun in that? It’s the only time I can get things done without any distractions, granted the kids are actually asleep.
Morning person? If it hasn’t happened by now, it won’t happen. And that is ok.
Patience? I try, but I have 3 kids. Some days are better than others.
Zen like state? Please refer to above, 3 kids and a husband. Enough said.
Educational TV? Does binge watching The Flash, or NCIS, or Once Upon A Time count?
Organic Healthy food? Chocolate counts right?
So there you have it.
You may be expecting something deep and profound to be written next, but nope.
I used to be scared about entering my 30s. But now that its here, I’m excited. I’m looking forward to the next chapter in my life. I’m looking forward to the journey that is before me. I may not host dinner parties, eat the “right” foods, or go to bed at a decent time, but I’m happy. I’m happy with my late nights and chocolate. I’ve learned a lot so far, and I know I have a lot more to learn. I’ve made some mistakes, but I wouldn’t trade those experiences, they have made me who I am today. You know what? I’m happy with who I am, where I am and how I am living my life. So here’s to 30.
30 is going to be awesome. I have my husband by my side, I have my beautiful children, and a wonderful support system around me.
I may not be in a constant Zen like state, but I am in a happy state, so thats good enough for me.
How did you feel before your big birthdays?