Someone recently asked me, what I can only guess is what they thought was an important question. They asked me “What would you do if your daughter ended up like you? How are you going to stop her?”
Now I will be completely honest with you my first reaction was to punch the person, next it was the ever classy “wtf” moment. Which was all followed by “What?!”
Pardon me, but what the hell is so wrong with me that I would have to be worried about my daughter ‘turning out like me’? Then I realized that they were probably referring the fact that I got pregnant at 16.
So this got me thinking.
First off why is this question only directed at my daughter? I’m sorry, but it takes two! My boys could just as easily ‘turn out like me’. Why are males always over looked when it comes to teen pregnancy? Trust me, the girl didn’t get there on her own. Just because females carry the baby it does not mean they made that baby on their own and carry all the ‘blame’.
Second off, if any of my children, my sons or my daughter turn out like me, so what? Do I want one of my children to come home at 16 years old and tell me that they are pregnant or got someone pregnant? No of course not, but if they did it would not change my love for them or my view of them.
There is nothing wrong if my children ‘turn out like me’. I kind of hope they do. I hope they get my creative side. I hope they get my love of reading. I hope that their imagination is as big as mine if not bigger. I hope they are dreamers with the courage to go after their dreams. I hope they get my sense of humour. I hope their hearts are as big if not bigger than mine. I hope my children get my level of devotion and love. I hope they get my sense of adventure. I hope they get my love for nature and animals.
Most of all I hope my children are happy. I hope they find themselves. I hope they enjoy life. I hope that whatever path they take in life that it is one filled with love, laughter and joy.
Now onto the second part of the question. How will I stop them from turning out like me? I can’t. I won’t. That is not my place. How can you really stop anyone from doing something? If you could there would never be any teen pregnancy, now would there? I will educate my children. I will talk to my children. My children will grow up knowing how hard it is to grow up away from their brother. My children will grow up dealing with the after effects of my own teen pregnancy and me placing my son for adoption. And after all that I will talk to them some more. My children aren’t like most children, they are growing up in a situation that most don’t, and that will shape them. How will that shape them, well only time will tell.
Whatever path my children take I will love them and be proud of them. Even if “I can’t stop them and they turn out like me”, would that really be so horrible, because there is a whole hell of a lot to me than just a person who got pregnant at 16. But if they do, if any of my children find themselves facing an unexpected pregnancy I hope they have the strength to do what is right for them, which will be easy to do with all the love and support I will have for them.