Why I Did Not Reveal My Baby’s Gender During Pregnancy

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Two years ago on this day, November 19 2013, I had my 20 week ultrasound scan. After having 3 boys everyone was excited to see what this baby would be. EVERYONE seemed to have an opinion, family, friends, strangers who after finding out I had 3 boys said I needed a girl, to everyone at the doctors office, to the staff of the hospital (that I visited way too much during my pregnancy). Like I said, everyone had an opinion.

Most of the opinions were the same; I NEEDED a girl. Some how the world viewed the fact that I had given birth to 3 beautiful, healthy, happy, boys as a bad thing. Apparently I had “paid my dues”. Apparently I had “too many boys”. I would like to call total B.S. on that.

Back to my 20 week ultrasound. While there, my sweet baby was being shy, my technician gave me a 60% chance of having a girl. She couldn’t get a good look. With that I decided not to tell anyone. Not because I didn’t want a girl, but because after 3 boys I know certain people in my life would go nuts buying all things pink, and with the 40% of a boy, I didn’t want to have to worry about the hassle of returning stuff, or people complaining of wasted money. I also didn’t want to get people attached to a girl, and when a boy showed up, well lets just say I didn’t want to deal with stupid remarks that would be made. I have known people who got the gender wrong and got attached to a child that wasn’t really there in a sense. I wanted to avoid that if possible.

However I was back to the ultrasound tech 2 weeks later where she confirmed that it was in fact a girl. I was back about 3 more times, each time she said the same thing, girl, girl, girl. And she was right.

But here is the thing, I knew that whether I had a boy or girl, I would get the same comments. “You need a girl.” “Another boy?!” If I told them during pregnancy the comments would get worse, some how people think that when they baby is still inside a person they can say whatever rude comments they like and it doesn’t matter, because they baby isn’t “here” yet.

So I kept my mouth shut. When people asked what I was having I simply said “I don’t know and I don’t care”. That would end the discussion.

Truth be told, I did not care! My love would not have changed if I had a boy. If I was a mom of all boys I would be just as happy as I am now with 3 boys and 1 girl. My love for my children does not depend on their gender. The gender of my children never mattered to me, only my child mattered. The fact that I was carrying another human life inside me is what mattered, not what was between their legs.

~ Michelle

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