Big Girl Bed

My itty bitty baby grew up over night and is a big girl now.

I’m not sure when or how it happened exactly, but this past weekend it was time to get rid of my daughters crib and give her a big girl bed.

I cried. I cried going to the store. I cried picking out the bed. I cried setting up the bed. I cried when I put her to bed in it for the first time. I cried, a lot.

Maybe it’s because she is my last baby? Maybe it is because I am a giant emotional mess?

Whatever the reason I’m not sure I am ready for this next step. It just came up way too fast for me. I want to enjoy the baby cuddles more. Enjoy her littleness more. Every day she grows up more and more, more independent, more into her own person. And don’t get me wrong, it is completely and utterly amazing. I love watching her grow, watching her learn, watching her become her own person. But does it have to happen so fast?

In the blink of an eye my baby has grown.

It is such a bitter sweet moment of motherhood. I love watching my kids grow. I just wish it didn’t happen so fast!

She’s my last baby. And she seems to be growing up a lot faster than my boys did. She’s 2 going on 13. She loves getting her nails painted, she asks to have her hair done, and she insists on picking out her own outfits, and now this, a real bed. It is all happening so fast. The only hope I am holding onto right now is that this will help her some how, magically, sleep all night on her own. Who am I kidding? It will just make co-sleeping a lot easier!

What amazes me most of all of this, is how sad this makes me and how incredible proud it makes me all at the same time. Motherhood is such a rollercoaster with so many mixed emotions, usually all at the same time. Sometimes it is hard to know where way I’m facing when I get all mixed up with all these conflicting emotions.

Before I know it my baby will be starting school! Ok… Forget that, I can’t think about that now!

~ Michelle



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