Sharing Information And Being A Mom Blogger


Its a digital world. We can try to deny it, but is there really any point anymore? How many smart phones are out there? How many apps for sharing pictures?
Its a digital world where we can share information and photos instantly, and permanently.

Permanently. I’m a grown adult and I honestly still have a hard time wrapping my head around it, about what it really means when you share something online. Especially when it is shared publicly.

As I write this and put these words out there I don’t know what will happen to them, who will read them, copy them, share them, save them, change the context and switch up my words. And I am only talking about words, I haven’t even started in on photos!

Now clearly I am on social media! I have Facebook, a page on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, this blog of course, and the list goes on for apps and such.

I share photos almost daily. I share my thoughts, my hopes and dreams, my fears, my battles and even my heartbreak. I’m a mom and a lot of what I share involves my motherhood journey. I have 4 beautiful children, 14, 10, 9 and 3 years old who I love dearly, I am so proud of all of them and would love to shout it from the mountain tops all day every day. Here’s the catch, I do not share their photos. I don’t share photos that show their beautiful sweet faces and I try not to write about them on a personal level. This is a personal decision that each parent must make in our digital world, and this is what I decided was best for us.

But wait? What was that?! Yes I can hear you asking “But you’re a mom and a blogger?! You’re a mom blogger? How can you just not share? Go on, just ask them first, if they say yes, its all fair game.”

So let me try to explain.

I do not believe that my children at their ages can fully and completely understand would it would mean for me to share their photos and their personal stories.

Can you imagine if the internet was around like this when you were little? Can you imagine at 13, 16, or 18 years old finally getting a Facebook account, finally getting online and seeing that your whole life was written out for the world to see from someone else’s perspective. Every milestone, every ribbon you won, pictures of everything, baby photos, you naked on the toilet, the list goes on. But there is also the bad, the embarrassing photos and stories. Your most vulnerable moments, your weakest moments, all of them told from someone else’s point of view. They may have been written out of love, so your mom could relate and bond with other moms. But that doesn’t matter, because these moments are moments you didn’t want to share, not like that.
So take it all in, that all that information is out there, and then realize that it is not just you reading it. Friends, family, and strangers read everything and see all the photos. Commenting on it all, sharing it, coping and saving photos and stories about you.
People have learned things about you that you would rather they not know. People have heard things about you, they think they know you, but they don’t, because it wasn’t you telling them.

Its harder to create your own voice, show the world the real you when someone else has written and shared you from their point of view for your whole life.

My kids are their own persons. Their stories are their own and theirs alone to write and share how they see fit.

I’m walking a fine line sharing me without sharing them when they are such a huge part of me.

I wouldn’t want anyone else writing my story and so I won’t write theirs.

So for now I will keep my kids stories for them to write, and maybe one day they will write them and I can share them.

And honestly, can I just say thank goodness social media wasn’t around when I was growing up. The ups and downs I had?! I wouldn’t want that shared with the world from someone else’s point of view.

~ Michelle

How To Survive Tantrums In Young Kids and Toddlers

Parenting can be so fun. It can be so rewarding. Life changing. It can be all puppies, unicorns and rainbows. But it can also be a major pain in the ass. It can drain you. It can make you feel like you’re going insane. Welcome to toddler tantrums! They can happen any where, for any reason and usually without warning. Name a place and one of my kids has probably had a tantrum there. Home, the store, library, church, school, disney world! Yes even when visiting the “Happiest place on earth” a child can still have a tantrum.

Tantrums can often make you feel like throwing one yourself. Or just going to bed and hiding out.

But here is what I believe. There is a reason a child is throwing the tantrum, and if they are young they may not understand their big emotions and whats going on and be able to explain it to you. Heck, I’m an adult and I can’t always explain my big emotions! No matter their age, I have always talked to my kids about emotions. Telling them their emotions are ok. They are aloud to be angry, sad, happy, glad, and such. But we talk about best way to show emotions. Screaming, crying and kicking may not always be the best way to show emotions.
But talking will only take you so far with a toddler. So when that doesn’t work, what else is there to do?

Here is what I have learned over the years.

IMG_9534

1. Make sure everyone is getting enough sleep!
Seems easy enough, right?! Who am I kidding, it is anything but easy! But sleep plays a major part in someones mood and ability to handle situations. So sleep is a good thing. A toddler who has missed a nap, or had a bad night, will probably throw a few tantrums that day.

2. Food!
Who hasn’t gotten grumpy when hungry?! I know I have. Before you go on an outing, even something as simple as grocery shopping make sure your little one is not hungry and bring along snacks. Snacks are your best friend in the parenting years!

3. Distractions.
When your little one is having a hard time and throwing a tantrum distraction are key. Depending on the the size of the tantrum and where you are. Sometimes its as simple as “Did you see that bird?!” Or insert child’s favourite animal. Ask them questions about their favourite animals. Suggest walking around the store to look for pictures of their favourite animal.
I keep a small notebook a pen and stickers in my purse for distractions. Works like a charm, most of the time!
Asking them questions about an activity, or anything really. I will ask “Hey, where do unicorns live?” or “Can you tell me about swimming”.

4. Counting. 
This falls into distractions, but it can help calm both you and your child. If we are in a store I will ask my child how far they think we will get in 10 steps. Or 20 steps. I will pick them up, take big steps, little steps, try to make a game of it.

5. Craft Time.
This of course depends on where you are. This works best at home. We usually turn to painting or play dough. I try to keep a good stash of crafts and stickers for rainy days or tantrum throwing days. The dollar store is a good place to find lots of stuff!

6. Bath Time!
Again, this one works when you are home. Bath time is always a winner in this house. Even for me! I love bath time! Its relaxing and fun! Especially when its dark and you can throw in some glow sticks! Glow sticks are my secret weapon!

7. Hugs and cuddles.
Sometimes it is something so simple that helps and makes everything better! A hug and some cuddles always works. Especially when home and we can get nice and cozy and watch a movie. Or build a fort and have a cuddle and read a book!

8. Go home.
Sometimes nothing will work when out and your best option is to just go home. That is totally fine. Home is safe, home is good. Home will help you keep your sanity.

9. Cry it out.
Sometimes the best thing you can do, given the reason for the tantrum, is to let your child cry it out and work out their emotions. A good cry is needed now and then, for everyone.

10. Get outside.
Depending on the weather and time of day, nature is always your best friend. Fresh air will do wonders for everyone. Sunshine on your face, birds singing, blowing bubbles! All good things that will help everyone!

11.  Try someone else.
All of my kids have been super, super, clingy to me. But sometimes, despite my best efforts, and putting my feelings aside, sometimes my kids just need someone else. Whether its my husband, my parents, or another family member, remember its a good thing that your child loves and feels safe with other people and that they can help! The more people that love and care about your child, the better!

Hope these help!

Something that you do that isn’t on this list? I would love to hear it.

Remember your child isn’t giving you a hard time, THEY ARE HAVING A HARD TIME!
It can be hard to keep your cool and your sanity, but your child is growing and learning. Everyone has big emotions, and we all have to learn what they mean and how to deal with them.

~ Michelle

 

What Does It Mean To Be Productive?

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

The sun is shining. The windows are open. Oh how I have longed for this day! Despite my best efforts the weather plays a big part into my moods. The fresh air is very much needed right now. Now if only I can tear myself away from the singing birds long enough to actually do something productive.

But really what does it mean to be productive? Are you only productive if your house is spotless, everything is cleaned, washed, put away? Are you only productive if you go to work every day? Is it strictly based on what others can see? Can you only really be productive if your actions can some how be measured? Who decides what is productive?

What does it mean to you to be productive?

This past weekend I sat outside in the warmth of the sun. I listened to the birds. I played outside with the kids. I watched the kids play in awe of how much they have changed since last year. I did a lot of sitting outside. Just being in the moment. My house didn’t get cleaned. Laundry is way behind now. My living room looks like some supernatural event happened.

So did I have a productive weekend? What do you think? My answer; Yes. Yes I did.

I did what I needed to do. I did what my heart and soul needed. I was in the moment. I relaxed. I watched my kids. I played with my kids. This is what I needed to do. For my own mental health, my psychical health, I needed a break. I needed to be in the moment. I needed to laugh. I needed to feel the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair.

If you looked at the state of my house you would not think it was a very productive weekend. If you looked at me you would know it was.

As far as house chores go, I am behind. In terms of my spirit, I am ahead of the game! I am refreshed, relaxed, and ready to take on this week. I am in much better shape to handle this week than if I had been inside cleaning all weekend.

So Monday, this week, bring it! I’m ready for you! Right after I finish my coffee and listening to do the birds sing, then I will get up and rock this thing!

~ Michelle

 

Always Look For The Silver Lining

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

This weekend was all about celebrating my daughter’s 3rd birthday. But to me it was so much more. There was a time that I never thought I would be able to have another baby. Then after years of struggling I finally got pregnant, just to miscarry a few weeks later. My heart was broken. I was broken, pieces missing forever. I was surprised when I managed to get pregnant again, and terrified. Her entire pregnancy I was scared I would lose her. I had a high risk pregnancy, and spent the entire time on bed rest. There was a time when I thought I would never get to this point. And now here we are, celebrating her 3rd birthday!

Every day I am so thankful for my children. Every day when I look at my girl, my rainbow baby, I am reminded that there is someone that will forever be missing from our family. Without that loss, my daughter wouldn’t be here now. It is so hard to explain the conflicting emotions that happen. My heart breaks for the baby I will never know, but my heart bursts with love for the children I do have.

My daughter is a constant reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned. There is good and bad, heartache and sorrow, but also so much love and joy in life.

There is always a silver lining. Always a point, or lesson to be learned. Sometimes, most times, its just incredibly hard to see at the time. Or at least thats what I like to tell myself on the bad days.

Bad days like when you fight with your husband after your child’s birthday party, and you are not exactly sure what started it. It was sort of the perfect storm of emotions, lack of sleep, and bad choice of words to be said by both parties. I will never understand the point to fighting, but I know there is a silver lining, a lesson to be learned. After the fight we always end up stronger. I just wish the heartache didn’t have to happen first.

So my point to all this, is that life is all about ups and downs, love and hate, tears and laughter. Really big heart breaking downs, really big huge living changing joy and love, or small bumps in the road – like fights, or small joys like waking up after a fight and finding out that your husband woke up early to clean the kitchen for you.

You just have to remember to look for the sliver lining in all things, big or small.

~ Michelle

Progress Not Perfection

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Two weeks ago I was on a roll. I was working out every day, eating healthy, had so much energy, I was getting so much done. It was great. Then March Break happened. My boys went away for the week with my parents and my husband decided to take a week off work. It was just my husband, my toddler, and myself for a whole week. I didn’t work out. I didn’t eat the most healthy items like I could have. I didn’t work. I honestly didn’t do anything that I had planned. I even threw out the to do lists that I wrote.

Do you know hat I did for the week? I was present. I was here. I was on the floor playing with my toddler. I was sitting on the sofa cuddled up with  my husband talking for hours. I was in the moment. And you know what? It was the best thing I could have done. Productive it terms of work? No. Productive in terms of self care?! YES!

Progress not perfection.

If this had happened before, if I had an entire week off from working out, eating healthy and work, I would completely flip out. I would fall into a deeper depression. I would think I ruined everything. But now I am finally learning that none of that is true.

Yes, I needed to do things, things had to get done. But the things I did do, spend every minute with my husband and daughter is also what I needed, what we all needed. My husband and daughter have never had that much time together to just play. It has been years since my husband and I have had so much time to talk. I don’t remember the last time we got to talk so much, have such deep conversations, discover new things about each other.

This past week went nothing like I planned, but it was everything I needed. I feel refreshed. I feel better. I feel more focused. I feel more at peace with myself, my husband, my life, with everything.

Things don’t always go as planned, slowly but surely I am learning that that is ok. Sometimes that we think we need is actually what we need.

~ Michelle

 

Reasons Why I Did Not Accomplish Anything Today

Every night I go to bed with a million plans for the next day. I write out lists, and those lists will have lists. I plan and plan. And then the next day comes, and… nothing.

img_5128

Here are some reasons why I didn’t accomplish anything today:

  • My baby/toddler/child didn’t sleep last night, again.
  • There wasn’t enough coffee in the house to make me human.
  • My toddler wanted a snack, but not the one she pointed to, a different one, but not that one either.
  • My toddler has decided that everything will piss her off today and today shall be full of meltdowns.
  • It was such a nice day outside we played outside all day instead.
  • A Disney movie marathon seemed like such a better idea, and now I don’t know what day it is.
  • My motivation and energy levels are in the negative. My kids sucked them out of me at night.
  • One of the kids is sick.
  • Netflix just seemed like such a better option at the time and now the day is over.
  • My pjs and the sofa have accepted me as one of their own and I need to keep their trust, so nothing else will get accomplished today.
  • I ruined the day when I put my toddler in the clothes she picked out.
  • Today seemed like a good day to do fun things instead.
  • Crafts are so much more fun than work.

But mostly because:

  • Anxiety and depression are bitches.

So far today much hasn’t been accomplished, but there is still time.

~ Michelle

Reindeer Food

Every year we make Reindeer Food. Every year on Christmas Eve before the kids go to bed they go outside to spread out the food. They leave it all over the yard, just to make sure the Reindeer find it! They love this tradition. It is so much fun.

edit6

Here is our recipe for (super special, super magical) Reindeer Food.

What you will need:

Bird Seed
Coloured Sugar (A whole mix of colours, or just red and green)
Little Plastic Bags

edit

We get a bag of bird seed and coloured sugar from Bulk Barn. That way you can decide how much of each item you need.

Next pour your sugar into the bag with the bird seed and mix together.

edit3

Make sure you have your bags ready, we make one bag for each child. Pour in the amount you want in each bag.

edit5

Wait for Christmas Eve and go out side and sprinkle the special treat on your lawn.

Enjoy!

~ Michelle