Tag Archives: Family

Sharing Information And Being A Mom Blogger

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Its a digital world. We can try to deny it, but is there really any point anymore? How many smart phones are out there? How many apps for sharing pictures?
Its a digital world where we can share information and photos instantly, and permanently.

Permanently. I’m a grown adult and I honestly still have a hard time wrapping my head around it, about what it really means when you share something online. Especially when it is shared publicly.

As I write this and put these words out there I don’t know what will happen to them, who will read them, copy them, share them, save them, change the context and switch up my words. And I am only talking about words, I haven’t even started in on photos!

Now clearly I am on social media! I have Facebook, a page on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, this blog of course, and the list goes on for apps and such.

I share photos almost daily. I share my thoughts, my hopes and dreams, my fears, my battles and even my heartbreak. I’m a mom and a lot of what I share involves my motherhood journey. I have 4 beautiful children, 14, 10, 9 and 3 years old who I love dearly, I am so proud of all of them and would love to shout it from the mountain tops all day every day. Here’s the catch, I do not share their photos. I don’t share photos that show their beautiful sweet faces and I try not to write about them on a personal level. This is a personal decision that each parent must make in our digital world, and this is what I decided was best for us.

But wait? What was that?! Yes I can hear you asking “But you’re a mom and a blogger?! You’re a mom blogger? How can you just not share? Go on, just ask them first, if they say yes, its all fair game.”

So let me try to explain.

I do not believe that my children at their ages can fully and completely understand would it would mean for me to share their photos and their personal stories.

Can you imagine if the internet was around like this when you were little? Can you imagine at 13, 16, or 18 years old finally getting a Facebook account, finally getting online and seeing that your whole life was written out for the world to see from someone else’s perspective. Every milestone, every ribbon you won, pictures of everything, baby photos, you naked on the toilet, the list goes on. But there is also the bad, the embarrassing photos and stories. Your most vulnerable moments, your weakest moments, all of them told from someone else’s point of view. They may have been written out of love, so your mom could relate and bond with other moms. But that doesn’t matter, because these moments are moments you didn’t want to share, not like that.
So take it all in, that all that information is out there, and then realize that it is not just you reading it. Friends, family, and strangers read everything and see all the photos. Commenting on it all, sharing it, coping and saving photos and stories about you.
People have learned things about you that you would rather they not know. People have heard things about you, they think they know you, but they don’t, because it wasn’t you telling them.

Its harder to create your own voice, show the world the real you when someone else has written and shared you from their point of view for your whole life.

My kids are their own persons. Their stories are their own and theirs alone to write and share how they see fit.

I’m walking a fine line sharing me without sharing them when they are such a huge part of me.

I wouldn’t want anyone else writing my story and so I won’t write theirs.

So for now I will keep my kids stories for them to write, and maybe one day they will write them and I can share them.

And honestly, can I just say thank goodness social media wasn’t around when I was growing up. The ups and downs I had?! I wouldn’t want that shared with the world from someone else’s point of view.

~ Michelle

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25 Simple Steps To Ruin Your Childs Day

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Do you know how easy it is to ruin someones day? And by someone, I mean a toddler.
With three kids I have had my fair share of ruining someones day. I have never set out to do, yet some how I always mange do it. Sometimes I believe it has something to do with the seasons, where the sun is, how the planets are lined up, or maybe its simple because toddlers are wonderful little creatures filled with so much logic.

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Here is how to ruin someones day in one simple step!

1. Give a child the blue bowl instead of the green bowl, which they never asked for but you should have known they wanted.
2. Give a child the blue plate instead of the other blue plate. You know the blue plate that is in the cupboard which they clearly can’t see, never asked for, but again clearly they wanted that one more.
3. Wash their hair at the start of their bath instead of at the end. Doing it out of order somehow ruins the bath and the child must get out immediately.
4. Take them out of the bath, even though all the water has drained out and they asked a minute ago to get out.
5. Cut the crust off their toast.
6. Leave the crust on their toast.
7. Give them toast.
8. Cut sandwich, or grilled cheese, into squares.
9. Cut sandwich, or grilled cheese, into triangles.
10. Give them the wrong sippy cup / cup.
11. No not that cup either. The other other one!
12. Get them dressed.
13. Help them put shoes on.
14. Take off their shoes when you get home.
15. Play with them.
16. Don’t play with them.
17. Stop them from painting or drawing on the walls. Clearly paper is not good enough for their artistic ability.
18. Brush their hair or brush their teeth.
19. Telling them you do not have the ability to control the weather. Clearly every mom should have this power.
20. When you can’t make the sun or moon move. Like when they want to see stars in the middle of the day.
21. Look at them. Or don’t. Either way depending on the day, the suns location, how the planets are lined up, not matter what you do, you are ruining their day.
22. Don’t let them play with dangerous things in the kitchen. You know because you want to keep the same amount of fingers they woke up with on their hand.
23. Forget that they need to ring the door bell EVERY time you come home. I think maybe there is a force field that can only be brought down when the door bell rings. Its magical. I’m not sure the reason, but clearly my child knows the reason.
24. Not let them bring bugs into the house. Bugs outside, people inside please.
25. Tell them they need to sleep.

Have you ever ruined your childs day? How did you do? Share below in the comments! I would love to hear how it happened!

~ Michelle

How To Survive Tantrums In Young Kids and Toddlers

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Parenting can be so fun. It can be so rewarding. Life changing. It can be all puppies, unicorns and rainbows. But it can also be a major pain in the ass. It can drain you. It can make you feel like you’re going insane. Welcome to toddler tantrums! They can happen any where, for any reason and usually without warning. Name a place and one of my kids has probably had a tantrum there. Home, the store, library, church, school, disney world! Yes even when visiting the “Happiest place on earth” a child can still have a tantrum.

Tantrums can often make you feel like throwing one yourself. Or just going to bed and hiding out.

But here is what I believe. There is a reason a child is throwing the tantrum, and if they are young they may not understand their big emotions and whats going on and be able to explain it to you. Heck, I’m an adult and I can’t always explain my big emotions! No matter their age, I have always talked to my kids about emotions. Telling them their emotions are ok. They are aloud to be angry, sad, happy, glad, and such. But we talk about best way to show emotions. Screaming, crying and kicking may not always be the best way to show emotions.
But talking will only take you so far with a toddler. So when that doesn’t work, what else is there to do?

Here is what I have learned over the years.

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1. Make sure everyone is getting enough sleep!
Seems easy enough, right?! Who am I kidding, it is anything but easy! But sleep plays a major part in someones mood and ability to handle situations. So sleep is a good thing. A toddler who has missed a nap, or had a bad night, will probably throw a few tantrums that day.

2. Food!
Who hasn’t gotten grumpy when hungry?! I know I have. Before you go on an outing, even something as simple as grocery shopping make sure your little one is not hungry and bring along snacks. Snacks are your best friend in the parenting years!

3. Distractions.
When your little one is having a hard time and throwing a tantrum distraction are key. Depending on the the size of the tantrum and where you are. Sometimes its as simple as “Did you see that bird?!” Or insert child’s favourite animal. Ask them questions about their favourite animals. Suggest walking around the store to look for pictures of their favourite animal.
I keep a small notebook a pen and stickers in my purse for distractions. Works like a charm, most of the time!
Asking them questions about an activity, or anything really. I will ask “Hey, where do unicorns live?” or “Can you tell me about swimming”.

4. Counting. 
This falls into distractions, but it can help calm both you and your child. If we are in a store I will ask my child how far they think we will get in 10 steps. Or 20 steps. I will pick them up, take big steps, little steps, try to make a game of it.

5. Craft Time.
This of course depends on where you are. This works best at home. We usually turn to painting or play dough. I try to keep a good stash of crafts and stickers for rainy days or tantrum throwing days. The dollar store is a good place to find lots of stuff!

6. Bath Time!
Again, this one works when you are home. Bath time is always a winner in this house. Even for me! I love bath time! Its relaxing and fun! Especially when its dark and you can throw in some glow sticks! Glow sticks are my secret weapon!

7. Hugs and cuddles.
Sometimes it is something so simple that helps and makes everything better! A hug and some cuddles always works. Especially when home and we can get nice and cozy and watch a movie. Or build a fort and have a cuddle and read a book!

8. Go home.
Sometimes nothing will work when out and your best option is to just go home. That is totally fine. Home is safe, home is good. Home will help you keep your sanity.

9. Cry it out.
Sometimes the best thing you can do, given the reason for the tantrum, is to let your child cry it out and work out their emotions. A good cry is needed now and then, for everyone.

10. Get outside.
Depending on the weather and time of day, nature is always your best friend. Fresh air will do wonders for everyone. Sunshine on your face, birds singing, blowing bubbles! All good things that will help everyone!

11.  Try someone else.
All of my kids have been super, super, clingy to me. But sometimes, despite my best efforts, and putting my feelings aside, sometimes my kids just need someone else. Whether its my husband, my parents, or another family member, remember its a good thing that your child loves and feels safe with other people and that they can help! The more people that love and care about your child, the better!

Hope these help!

Something that you do that isn’t on this list? I would love to hear it.

Remember your child isn’t giving you a hard time, THEY ARE HAVING A HARD TIME!
It can be hard to keep your cool and your sanity, but your child is growing and learning. Everyone has big emotions, and we all have to learn what they mean and how to deal with them.

~ Michelle

 

What Does It Mean To Be Productive?

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

The sun is shining. The windows are open. Oh how I have longed for this day! Despite my best efforts the weather plays a big part into my moods. The fresh air is very much needed right now. Now if only I can tear myself away from the singing birds long enough to actually do something productive.

But really what does it mean to be productive? Are you only productive if your house is spotless, everything is cleaned, washed, put away? Are you only productive if you go to work every day? Is it strictly based on what others can see? Can you only really be productive if your actions can some how be measured? Who decides what is productive?

What does it mean to you to be productive?

This past weekend I sat outside in the warmth of the sun. I listened to the birds. I played outside with the kids. I watched the kids play in awe of how much they have changed since last year. I did a lot of sitting outside. Just being in the moment. My house didn’t get cleaned. Laundry is way behind now. My living room looks like some supernatural event happened.

So did I have a productive weekend? What do you think? My answer; Yes. Yes I did.

I did what I needed to do. I did what my heart and soul needed. I was in the moment. I relaxed. I watched my kids. I played with my kids. This is what I needed to do. For my own mental health, my psychical health, I needed a break. I needed to be in the moment. I needed to laugh. I needed to feel the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair.

If you looked at the state of my house you would not think it was a very productive weekend. If you looked at me you would know it was.

As far as house chores go, I am behind. In terms of my spirit, I am ahead of the game! I am refreshed, relaxed, and ready to take on this week. I am in much better shape to handle this week than if I had been inside cleaning all weekend.

So Monday, this week, bring it! I’m ready for you! Right after I finish my coffee and listening to do the birds sing, then I will get up and rock this thing!

~ Michelle

 

When Your Husband Gets The Big V, The Snip Snip.

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My husband got a vasectomy. I have never been so conflicted about anything before. I have also never been so at peace with something. Life is strange like that sometimes.

After our daughter was born, even during my pregnancy, we knew this was it. Our baby would complete our family and we were done. Our family was done. When we finally held her in our arms, we knew without a doubt, we both felt it, we both knew it. She would be our last baby. We were finally done.

The truth? I know I don’t want more kids, I know in my heart that I am done, I also know that I sometimes ( a lot of times) I miss pregnancy, I miss the newborn stage. Yes the person who has had 3 high risk pregnancies, 2 pregnancies on full bed rest, scary stress filled pregnancies, misses pregnancy. I miss feeling a baby kick. I miss the little itty bitty new born baby. Do I honestly want to go through that again? Not really.

Motherhood is a strange thing. I sent my husband off to get the big V done, to get the final snip, and yet as soon as he was gone I cried. I don’t even know for sure what I was crying over. I suddenly felt an empty hole appear, a void if you will. Knowing that we will never, ever, again welcome a small itty bitty baby into our family as parents. It hurt. It still sometimes does hurt. I sometimes feel like I’m missing out. Other times, most times, I am so happy and content and most importantly – I am complete.

Whats done is done, and I am happy. I know we made the right choice for our family. I couldn’t imagine our family any other way.

But still, the hole, the void still lives and thrives at times. I’ve come to terms with it. Its voice isn’t as loud anymore. It doesn’t rip open as often anymore. I wouldn’t change anything. I am happy with the fabulous, wonderful, amazing children that I have brought into this world. I do make pretty awesome kids if I do say so myself. I know I was very blessed to be able to carry 4 beautiful babies to full term. But my time is done and over with.

Besides my daughter is 3, and still doesn’t sleep all night, I would for real go crazy with sleep deprivation if I had another baby, especially if that baby slept anything like my daughter.

Right now, I am just dreaming of more than 4 hours of sleep at a time. That would be nice. Sweet, sweet sleep.

~ Michelle

Always Look For The Silver Lining

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

This weekend was all about celebrating my daughter’s 3rd birthday. But to me it was so much more. There was a time that I never thought I would be able to have another baby. Then after years of struggling I finally got pregnant, just to miscarry a few weeks later. My heart was broken. I was broken, pieces missing forever. I was surprised when I managed to get pregnant again, and terrified. Her entire pregnancy I was scared I would lose her. I had a high risk pregnancy, and spent the entire time on bed rest. There was a time when I thought I would never get to this point. And now here we are, celebrating her 3rd birthday!

Every day I am so thankful for my children. Every day when I look at my girl, my rainbow baby, I am reminded that there is someone that will forever be missing from our family. Without that loss, my daughter wouldn’t be here now. It is so hard to explain the conflicting emotions that happen. My heart breaks for the baby I will never know, but my heart bursts with love for the children I do have.

My daughter is a constant reminder that life doesn’t always go as planned. There is good and bad, heartache and sorrow, but also so much love and joy in life.

There is always a silver lining. Always a point, or lesson to be learned. Sometimes, most times, its just incredibly hard to see at the time. Or at least thats what I like to tell myself on the bad days.

Bad days like when you fight with your husband after your child’s birthday party, and you are not exactly sure what started it. It was sort of the perfect storm of emotions, lack of sleep, and bad choice of words to be said by both parties. I will never understand the point to fighting, but I know there is a silver lining, a lesson to be learned. After the fight we always end up stronger. I just wish the heartache didn’t have to happen first.

So my point to all this, is that life is all about ups and downs, love and hate, tears and laughter. Really big heart breaking downs, really big huge living changing joy and love, or small bumps in the road – like fights, or small joys like waking up after a fight and finding out that your husband woke up early to clean the kitchen for you.

You just have to remember to look for the sliver lining in all things, big or small.

~ Michelle

Progress Not Perfection

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Two weeks ago I was on a roll. I was working out every day, eating healthy, had so much energy, I was getting so much done. It was great. Then March Break happened. My boys went away for the week with my parents and my husband decided to take a week off work. It was just my husband, my toddler, and myself for a whole week. I didn’t work out. I didn’t eat the most healthy items like I could have. I didn’t work. I honestly didn’t do anything that I had planned. I even threw out the to do lists that I wrote.

Do you know hat I did for the week? I was present. I was here. I was on the floor playing with my toddler. I was sitting on the sofa cuddled up with  my husband talking for hours. I was in the moment. And you know what? It was the best thing I could have done. Productive it terms of work? No. Productive in terms of self care?! YES!

Progress not perfection.

If this had happened before, if I had an entire week off from working out, eating healthy and work, I would completely flip out. I would fall into a deeper depression. I would think I ruined everything. But now I am finally learning that none of that is true.

Yes, I needed to do things, things had to get done. But the things I did do, spend every minute with my husband and daughter is also what I needed, what we all needed. My husband and daughter have never had that much time together to just play. It has been years since my husband and I have had so much time to talk. I don’t remember the last time we got to talk so much, have such deep conversations, discover new things about each other.

This past week went nothing like I planned, but it was everything I needed. I feel refreshed. I feel better. I feel more focused. I feel more at peace with myself, my husband, my life, with everything.

Things don’t always go as planned, slowly but surely I am learning that that is ok. Sometimes that we think we need is actually what we need.

~ Michelle

 

Back To Basics

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Do you ever feel like you have everything under control? Like you are totally rocking this whole adult and mom thing. Like you can totally juggle 46383729202 balls without any help. And then one day you wake up and realize you really can’t juggle all that on your own, and you honestly are not really rocking anything.

So here I am. Two months into 2017, and it has been one hell of a ride so far. Nothing has been accomplished. All of my To-Do Lists have so much dust over them that you can’t even read them, my workout plans are nothing but a joke, my business plans are the same. The last two months have been nothing but stress, sickness, surgery, recovery, more stress, more sickness, anxiety and just for fun, more stress.

I need to do something to get things rolling again. So I am going back to basics. Writing lists, setting goals, asking for help, taking it one day at a time. Also remembering to breathe.

So my goal for this week:

Family:

1. Spring clean! This sunshiny, above freezing weather has me so ready for spring.
2. Meal plan. Meal plan! Meal plan!
3. Reinstate family movie night! We have let that slide, and I don know why. I miss it.

Husband & Wife:

4. Spend more time alone together. We haven’t really spent much time together lately, I don’t remember the last time we had a decent conversation.
5. Have regular dates again. Or just one date. I will take anything at this point.

Personal:

6. Workout. At least 5 workouts a week.
7. Take time for me. Even 10 minutes. Even if it means doing a face mask or painting my nails.
8. Write. Write for me, write for my blog, write for the sake of writing.

Work:

9. Set dedicated time aside to work. But first organize what needs to be done first.
10. Work, work, work!

What do you hope to accomplish this week? How do you stay accountable for your goals? Share, share, share! I would love to hear!

~Michelle

When Your Toddler Needs Surgery. Before, During, and After.

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Finding out your child needs surgery can be hard. Super hard. Especially when your child is a toddler and doesn’t understand what is going on or why she will be in pain. I am no expert in child surgery. I am just a mom that recently went through this and wanted to share my story. In part of trying to prepare myself I tried to look up blog posts online from other parents that went through something similar, and couldn’t find much. So incase someone else travels down this path, I wanted to share.


Before:

Before surgery prepare yourself and your child. Have all your questions written down and make an appointment with your doctor just to ask questions if you need to. Talk with your child about it. The talking is as much for your as it is for them. Talk about having to go to the hospital, staying some place new for a few days. Keep it simple depending on your child’s age.
Depending on your child’s age show them the hospital before hand if you think that will help.
Make a list ( I love lists) of everything you will need, especially if you will be spending the night (or 2, or more).
Pack the night before. Have clothes laid out the night before, especially if your child’s surgery is first thing in the morning.
Buy your favourite snacks and/or candy. Pick up some new books or magazines. Depending on what surgery your child will have see if you can bring some of their favourite snacks for after surgery. Have their favourite foods at home waiting, or special foods like ice cream.
Do a deep clean of the house, depending on recovery you will not have much time for anything else other than your child after surgery.
Have some meals prepped and in the freezer for after.
Decide ahead of time if and when you will have visitors. We personally decided against visitors because it would upset our daughter when they had to leave and the crying and freaking out would hurt her throat even more.

During:

There isn’t much to do while your child is in surgery besides sit there and go crazy. Depending on your hospitals layout chances are the operating room may be on a different floor than where you may be staying, either way you will not want to carry a lot of stuff around with you. So pack your purse or bag wisely.
Speaking of your bag/purse, pack distractions for yourself in there. Pack some candy or snacks, magazines, books, new apps / games on your phone. Pack some of your favourite items, lip gloss, chapstick, jewelry. I have a piece of Sea Glass on a Necklace that I tend to play with and rub when stressed and worrying.
While your child is in surgery make sure you go to the bathroom! Seriously. Once your child comes out they will only want you. My daughter didn’t let go of me for hours, she slept, she cried, and she held on tight. I couldn’t get up for hours, and I never thought to use the bathroom before she finished surgery.

After:

Breathe. Deep, slow, breaths. Focus. Chances your child will be a little out of sorts, your child will be in pain, your child will be confused, and your heart will just break.
Prepare for cuddles. Lots of cuddles.
And don’t forget to breathe.

~ Michelle

When Your Toddler Needs Surgery

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A few months back I found out that my toddler needed surgery. I knew it was coming. I knew what to expect when I walked into the doctors office that morning. What I wasn’t expecting was how crushed I was going to feel. How completely gutted. How completely helpless, how completely out of control, how much of a failure I would feel like. Anxiety and depression can make you think and feel crazy things like something like this is actually in your control, when in fact it is not. My daughter’s tonsils and adenoids were so large that they were almost blocking her airway completely. She also needed tubes put in both ears. Nothing I could have done would ever change this. This was out of my control. The only thing I could control was allowing her this surgery to correct the problem.

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My big boy had to have tubes put in when he was 4 years old. So I knew what to expect with regards to that. But the tonsils and adenoids, I had no idea. It was so scary not knowing. The not knowing of what would happen during surgery scared me, the not knowing what to expect during recovery scared me even more. I was told my daughter could spend any where from 1 day to a whole week in hospital. She ended up staying 4 days. 4 very long, extremely stressful days. Something I hope to never have to repeat. Ever.

When you find out that your child is having surgery it can be such a scary time no matter how big or minor it is. When the doctor asks, “Do you have any questions?”, chances are you will have a million, just not right at that moment. Make sure you write down all of your questions for your next appointment. Even have a dedicated notebook just for your questions so you have them all in one place.
I honestly can not tell you how many times I called my doctors office to ask them questions. Just like in school when they say, “There are no stupid questions.” that comes into play here, don’t be afraid to ask anything. It helped ease my anxiety knowing that I could ask anything and I would always get an answer. Just make sure to write them all down.

When your toddler needs surgery the internet can be your best friend and worst enemy. While I suggest knowing about any surgery your child will need, I do suggest having your husband, check websites with you, or before you. I made the mistake of looking up my daughters surgery and ended up on every bad news, horrible story, worst case ever, story, nothing really of real information all a sort of dooms day. If you have severe anxiety like me, have someone with you when you turn to the internet.

At the end of the day, nothing can really prepare you for your child, let alone toddler who doesn’t fully understand whats going on, to have surgery. Trust in yourself, your partner, your doctor, and if you believe in God or higher power.

~ Michelle