Tag Archives: Goals

Mental Health Journey, Taking Back My Mornings

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I’ve always hated mornings. Like down to my core hate mornings. I am not a morning person at all. I am a night person. I can pull an all nighter no problem. I thrive at night. I always have, I don’t know why, that’s just the way I have always been. Yet when you have children, and a crap ton of stuff to be done in the morning, you don’t exactly have any other option. You have to get up early in the morning, get the kids up, dressed, fed, lunches made, breakfast made, cleaned up, things packed up for school, and ensure they get there on time.

How my mornings go completely dictates how my day will go. The morning literally makes or breaks my day. If my morning is filled with anxiety, and overthinking, I will end up having a bad day where all those issue just rage on and depression comes out to join in. Please tell me I am not the only one? I feel like I am. I feel like at this point in my life I should have this figured out, but alas… here we are.

So the shift I have started to make to help ease my anxiety that starts to rage as soon as my eyes open, calm my mind, and start my day off on the right foot, and continue on with my day, its pretty straight forward. How I haven’t done this all along, is beyond me. So here it goes… To take back my mornings…
First: I have to put on some music. Everything is better with an awesome soundtrack, right? Some upbeat music, sometimes classical, dance, throw back songs that you just know will get you going. Something has to be playing.
Second: Get dressed. Even if its leggings and a sweater. Something is better than pjs. If I stay in pjs, I just want to go back to bed. Even if I’m planning on going out later and getting changed. I have to get dressed in something.
Third: Coffee. It is a must. Always with the coffee.
Fourth: Drink the coffee by the plant collection (this is important because I absolutely love watching the morning sun shine on my plants and dance along the leafs. It brings me joy. This is usually when I end up checking on all my plants and marvelling in any new growth.), and write a list. Brain dump. Whatever you want to call it. A To Do List. Tasks. Order of the Day. Whatever you call it. I write it. I write out what to do, and depending on my mood, I will already add things I have done, just so I can check off the item and get that small amount of joy that comes from that action.
Five: Make my bed. There is something about knowing my bed is made, that effects the rest of the house. Seriously. Its true. I can’t explain it, but its real. The bed gets made, and there is a magical shift in the rest of the house and stuff gets done.

Now I am not saying this is some magically list that fixes everything and will work every day or that it will work for everyone. Some days it doesn’t work, and I am learning to be ok with that. Some times I have to switch it up. Sometimes I don’t have time to do everything. And I need to learn to calm the anxiety and know it will be ok. Other times its ok to have a blah day and give it whatever you have.

So here I am, on my mental health journey, trying to calm the anxiety, quiet the overthinking, and take back my mornings.

How do you start your day? What works for you?

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February Mental Health Goals

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New Month, New Goals.
As always I am on a journey to better mental health, to better understand and deal with my anxiety and depression. It’s been a journey, for as long as I can remember. Some times I think I have it figured out, but that only lasts so long. Other times, well its a wild ride to put it nicely.

So I’m taking it day by day, and breaking it down to monthly goals. Something more manageable that doesn’t seem so overwhelming, like saying “this year I want to…”. Small steps, building up, over time. I’m sure some steps will be backwards, but that’s ok. It’s all part of the progress. I need to learn to not let a few steps back derail the whole thing. I need to learn to be flexible while still working towards a goal.

So for this month, my goals are:

1. Take daily vitamins. Because I am absolutely horrible at remember this!
2. Drink more water. Seriously, the amount of times I’ve gone all day without a drink, besides coffee.
3. Technology free time 30-60 mins. I would love to say daily, but I will aim for 5 times a week. I also love the irony of blogging about wanting and needing technology free time.
4. Move/Dance/Workout 5 times a week.
5. Deep breathing / Meditation. I hope this helps, I’ve tried in the past and it seems to just give me more time for my mind to race and over think.
6. Weekly Game Night. Because family time is important, and we still have games we got at Christmas we haven’t played yet!
7. Journal.

All while still including therapy, self love, self growth, and keeping up with regular routines, like with my plants.
I guess that can also be part of my February goals, my plants, and planning my outdoor garden. I already have one round of seeds starting in the house and I need to start more and plan and prep for outside growing too. And yes, I know, I am slightly obsessed with my plants. I love them and the joy the bring me.

Do you have any goals for the new month? I would love to hear them!

Self Care

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Last week, yet again, I wrote about getting back on track, back to the basics. Do you know how many times I have written something like that? A lot. Why? Because I keep falling, I keep going down the wrong path, I take 50 steps back. But do you know what I also do? I always try to get back up again, and each time I do I end up learning something new about myself. I find new strength in myself. I find new passions. I find a new way of looking at things.

Something  I have learned over and over and over again, is that I suck at self care. I blame it on my anxiety and depression. Do you know what else I have learned over and over and over again? Self care is super important. Like really important. But still, I suck at it. My anxiety and depression monsters tell me I am not worthy of it. I don’t deserve it. I am not worth it. My time would be better spent doing something else. That I am selfish if I want to spend time alone, do something just for me. Its hard. It really is. These monsters, they are so loud. They are so powerful. They are so convincing at times. They wear me down, they drain all of my energy until I can no longer fight them.

I have decided to start yet another journey, this one about self care. I have also started a fitness journey. They happen to be one in the same. For the first time my fitness and workouts are not about actual physical fitness, they are purely for my mental health. And you know what? I enjoy my workouts even more now. I don’t feel pressure about how much weight I may or may not lose, how many calories I am eating, because right now, they don’t matter, they are not my priority. Don’t get me wrong, my psychical health and over all health is important, they just aren’t my focus right now when doing my workouts. As I focus on my mental health, everything else is falling into place. I feel better after I workout, and so I make better choices about the food I put in my body, and slowly I have started to feel better both physically and mentally.

Lets be honest here, I don’t know how long this will last. I don’t know how long I will be able to do this. I don’t know how long it will be till the monsters knock me back down again. But what I do know is that when that happens, I will get back up again, eventually, slowly, but surely, I will get back up. I will continue to try. I will learn something new. I will find new strength. I will continue this dance with the monsters, trying to tame them, over come them??? Honestly I am not sure, but I will not give up, that I am sure of.

How do you take care of yourself? How do you make sure you are getting enough of what you need? I would love to hear! Leave a comment or message me!

You can follow along with me on Instagram as I try to do this thing called Self Care.

~ Michelle

Back To Basics

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Do you ever feel like you have everything under control? Like you are totally rocking this whole adult and mom thing. Like you can totally juggle 46383729202 balls without any help. And then one day you wake up and realize you really can’t juggle all that on your own, and you honestly are not really rocking anything.

So here I am. Two months into 2017, and it has been one hell of a ride so far. Nothing has been accomplished. All of my To-Do Lists have so much dust over them that you can’t even read them, my workout plans are nothing but a joke, my business plans are the same. The last two months have been nothing but stress, sickness, surgery, recovery, more stress, more sickness, anxiety and just for fun, more stress.

I need to do something to get things rolling again. So I am going back to basics. Writing lists, setting goals, asking for help, taking it one day at a time. Also remembering to breathe.

So my goal for this week:

Family:

1. Spring clean! This sunshiny, above freezing weather has me so ready for spring.
2. Meal plan. Meal plan! Meal plan!
3. Reinstate family movie night! We have let that slide, and I don know why. I miss it.

Husband & Wife:

4. Spend more time alone together. We haven’t really spent much time together lately, I don’t remember the last time we had a decent conversation.
5. Have regular dates again. Or just one date. I will take anything at this point.

Personal:

6. Workout. At least 5 workouts a week.
7. Take time for me. Even 10 minutes. Even if it means doing a face mask or painting my nails.
8. Write. Write for me, write for my blog, write for the sake of writing.

Work:

9. Set dedicated time aside to work. But first organize what needs to be done first.
10. Work, work, work!

What do you hope to accomplish this week? How do you stay accountable for your goals? Share, share, share! I would love to hear!

~Michelle

A Weekend Of Gilmore Girls And Christmas Lights

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

I’m in a weekend hangover / Gilmore Girls hangover this morning. Oh Gilmore Girls, how you mess with my emotions! I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I felt about it, so much of it bugged me, but over all I loved it. I have always wanted to live in Stars Hollow. Seriously, I have always thought it was the best little town ever. Oh! Kirk and his pet pig! Loved it!

Back to reality.

This weekend besides obsessing over Gilmore Girls, we took a wonderful last minute crazy drive down to Niagara Falls on Saturday night. We looked at the Christmas lights, it was our first time going there with our daughter. We used to do it every single year but we missed out on the last 3 years. I cried when my toddler declared “Mama! I love this! I love the lights!” Her excitement, oh man, it was just what my heart needed. Everyone in the car totally fed off of her enjoyment! It was magical. However the drive straight back home was a bit much. Sunday I was so tired. Clearly I am getting too old for these kind of adventures.

Speaking of Sunday. Our Sunday was filled with Christmas movies and finishing up the Christmas decorations outside! It was wonderful. Perfect family day. Till my husband showed just how much faith he has in me. I dragged him out to the store real quick, I wanted some plants to put on the windowsill in the kitchen. I picked out two of the cutest little plants (yes plants can be cute) and my husband declared “How about you just get one, and see how that goes.” As if I will make the plant burst into flames or instantly die as soon as I bring it in the house. Day 1 with plant, and it is still alive and not burnt. Just so you know.

Today I am ready to take on the week. I worked out this morning. I cleaned up, I organized. I dreamed big. And now my toddler is completely trashing my house, or as she says she’s “showing off her toys”. Now to clean up again, and then again, and maybe some more after that.

I started out the day wanting to write out some goals. Then I sat down to to do it, and I just wasn’t feeling it. I really have to be in the right mood for it, or there is no point. Today I am running on pure determination and sugar and caffeine. Lots of caffeine.

So now to take on the rest of the week, and to keep my plant alive!

~ Michelle

 

 

Getting Back On Track

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

The past couple months have been a whirlwind. I can’t even begin to describe it. Now the holiday season is quickly approaching and I’m not sure where I stand or what was is up. I’m trying to make the best of it, I’m trying to hold my head up high, but it is exhausting. Down to the bone exhausting.

While trying to focus on the big picture and deal with everything going on, I need to start focusing on the little things. Taking it one day at time, one step at a time. All that jazz that is supposed to help calm a person. Not sure it really works, especially in times like this. But we will see. Its worth a shot, right?!

So this week I will be setting goals. For me. Not so much for the family. For me, that way I can be there for my family. I’m not so good about taking care of myself. But now its the time to really put in the effort.

1. Wrap the Christmas gifts I have already gotten. Its never too early to start crossing things off the To-Do List.
2. Workout. MUST. WORKOUT. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I have fallen so far off the tracks that I honestly can not even see them anymore.
3. Read, draw, or journal. Something. Creative outlet is a must, and I have let it slide as well.
4. Organize the family calendars. Again I have fallen behind on this.

( I should just say do all the things I have been putting off… but thats completely overwhelming… )

5. Meal plan. Eat healthy. Again this goes right back to my moods. Way too much emotional eating lately.
6. Finish decorating. Yes I started early, because of everything going on, I wanted it over with, but there are still a few last things that need to be done.
7. Try to go to bed before 11pm. Oh sleep, how I miss you.
8. Get my holiday card mailing list together and get started on that.

I’m sure there are a million other things I should do and I’m totally forgetting right now. Maybe a second cup of coffee will help me remember.

Now to get over the mommy guilt and focus on me. Stupid mommy guilt.

~ Michelle

So Many Passions

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Oh Monday. I have such a love/hate relationship with you. Monday for me is like a mini new years, in that I feel energized, motivated, hopeful, and dream big. But it is also Monday, and Monday can be a little mean. Monday is the Murphy Law of the week, if something can go wrong, it will. Yet every week my hopes grow, and every week… well Monday.

I have so many things I want to accomplish. So many plans. So many ideas floating around in my head. It is completely overwhelming. I have no clue where to start. I try writing out lists, but my lists end up having lists, and those lists have sub-lists, and it never ends.

I have so many passions and not nearly enough time. I want to do it all. And I will do it all. I just have to figure out how to manage my time so I can do it all. I love my blog. Its pretty awesome if you ask me. I love my first business I started, it has grown into something I never expected it to. Sugarplum And Applesauce is my baby. I found a new passion in my new jewelry business, Inspired By Five. And now I have a new passion I never knew I had, making wooden signs. I made two for my parents and I have so many more in the works. But it comes back to time. Everything takes time. Especially if you want something done right and done well.

Of course there is my biggest passion, and life calling, who I am, however you want to refer to it, I am a mother to three beautiful children. I love my kids. They drive me completely crazy but they are my life, and they bring me so much joy, and they steal so much sleep from me, but they are prefect and I love them.

So instead of setting out 10 goals for the week, I only have one. Organize my thoughts and ideas, and figure out which ones can be done first, and make an action plan to accomplish everything I want.

Being a mom is my first and most important job, but I still want and need to do other things and follow my own dreams and passions that don’t involve my kids. Which is easy enough to say, another thing to figure out the time, and whole other thing to get over the mom guilt of it. Yes there is mom guilt. I hate mom guilt. I have it all the time, and its stupid, and a waste of time I know that. However I still can’t shake it at times.

So this week, is about organizing my thoughts and ideas and passions. That shouldn’t take too long, right?! … I may need more than a week.

What do you hope to accomplish this week? What are your goals?

~ Michelle

 

One Step At A Time

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Oh, what will this week hold? What do I hope to accomplish this week?

I am starting this week out completely and utterly overwhelmed, filled with anxiety, stress, and I’m already tired. I want to think positive, I want to believe that this week will turn out completely wonderful. But honestly, thinking that positive just seems like a lot of work right now. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try. One step at a time. One step at a time.

So this week I decided to start writing out weekly goals again. I hope it will help me to focus, and relax, so I can accomplish everything I need to, and mostly so I don’t end up crying on the kitchen floor. (Why is it always the kitchen floor?!)

So my goals for this week:

Home:

1. Get on top of laundry. Laundry is seriously evil.
2. Nightly clean up. Some days, especially lately I am just too tired at night, but I always regret it in the morning.
3. Home cooked meals. Having home cooked meals every night helps everyone moods and not to mention everyones tummy!

Family:

4. Have more non-tv family nights. Movie nights are fun, but card game nights… those are hilarious.
5. Go for more walks. I miss walks. We haven’t go on many walking adventures this summer. And that make me sad. I like going on walks with my kids.

Personal:

6. Remember that I am only one person and there is only so much I can do in a single day.
7. Starting working out regularly. My workouts have been so random, most days I don’t have time, but I need to start making the time!

Work:

8. Focus on one thing at time. I have a million ideas, but I can’t do them all at the exact same time!
9. Clean up and organize my work space.
10. Step out of my comfort zone.

What do you hope to accomplish today? This week?

I really hope this week is a good week. I really hope my anxiety monster stays at bay. This week is going to take a lot of effort. I hope my toddler lets me sleep this week! If she doesn’t that possibility of me crying on the kitchen floor will most likely happen.

~ Michelle

Lets Talk Dreams

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Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Monday, lets do this. Today I am pumped. I am excited. I am hopeful. I am happy. I am blown away. Also I am a whole lot of anxious. But lets focus on the good.

I told you awhile back about my new adventure, following my dream, my new business Inspired By Five. It has always been a dream of mine to create and design jewelry. And now I am. I took the leap. Or rather my husband pushed me off the edge. Either way here I am.

IMG_5579 (1)

I have a small circle of friends and family. I’m a major introvert and it takes a bit for me to let someone in. So like I said, my circle is small. So I knew starting off the new business with zero money put away for any kind of advertising I would be relying on my awesome family and friends to help spread the word, and hashtags. I love hashtags. And Instagram. Instagram and hashtags are sorta of my happy place. Any who…

Yesterday I woke up and chased my kids around like normal, wrote out my grocery list, and decided to check on my social media accounts. There waiting for me was an order. Not just any order but an order for two, yes TWO Sea Glass Necklaces! Dude, I was so excited. Like happy dance in my kitchen happy. That was quickly followed by another order! 3 orders in one day. I was truly blown away! I still am.

I dreamed of this, but still in my wildest dreams I did not think I would be here. You know? Its crazy, right?

So here I am, Monday morning. The morning after. And I am thrilled. But being the anxiety filled person I am there is also my anxiety cloud following me around. Especially because I sent out a package of two necklaces, and until I know that they got to their home sweet home, I worry. It gives me major anxiety. Last week I sent out two packages and I was a wreck till I got word that they made it. I never expected to feel like this. Actually I never thought about it all. But I guess it is something I have to learn to deal with.

So right now, I want to focus on the good. The happy. The excitement. All the warm fuzzy feelings.

I also have to adult. So I have to focus on this week and my kids. I have a what seems like 37938202873893048 appointments this week. This week is all about balance. Balance of looking at the big picture of everything that has to be done, keeping track of it all, working on my business, being a kick ass mom and wife, but also just taking it one day at a time.

Deep breaths.

I can do this. I will do this. I will totally rock this week!

~ Michelle

Inspired By Five

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I thought that being a mom would be the scariest thing I ever did. And it is. It scares the sh!t out of me almost daily. But there is something else in life that I never thought would be scary and it ended up being so scary that it held me back for YEARS! Wonder what could possible have that much power over a person, well I will tell you: Following my dreams. Seriously. I’m not kidding.

Ever since I was a little girl I have had an obsession with designing and creating. Anything from clothes, crafts, houses at one point, but mostly, always, jewelry. I used to have notebook upon notebook filled with drawers.

Then I met my husband, then we had 2 kids in 13 months. Then I started Sugarplum And Applesauce. Like I said I have always loved to create and design. I’ve always loved fabrics. The different colours, textures, all of that. But still my first passion was always jewelry. But I held back. Why? Because it absolutely, without a doubt, right down to my bone, scared me.

I have held off on my dream for years. Far longer than I should have. But then I suffered a miscarriage, then I had a high risk pregnancy. Then I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. My family was finally complete. Those events changed me. Changed me to my core. Finally having my whole family here supporting me and encouraging me finally gave me the strength to push forward. To take the leap. To jump in. Whatever phrase you want to call it.

And thus, Inspire By Five was born. You can also find me on Instagram  and Twitter.

Inspiredbyfive2

Now that it is here, I am still scared out of my mind about it! I haven’t fully launched it yet. But still, it is out there. Out there for the whole world to see. I feel like not only am I showing people a piece of jewelry I created, but a piece of my soul. And that thought terrifies me.

I hope you will join me on this adventure as I turn my dream into a reality.

And if you have a dream, I hope you find the strength to follow it! Don’t wait! Jump in now! When you do, I will be here to cheer you on to and encourage you!

~ Michelle