2 Years, The Countdown Is On

My kids are at school, and I am sitting at the kitchen table alone with my toddler while she nicely eats her lunch. Just kidding she’s playing with her food and most if it is on the floor already.

I can’t help but wonder… Now what? How long will this last? And what happens after?

My two boys are in school, already Grade 5 and Grade 4, and my daughter is already two and half. She will be going to school in 2 years. 2 short years.

The house is already eerily quiet without my boys here. But I love it, because I get one on one time with my daughter. But I can’t help but wondering… What happens after? After she goes to school?

I have been a stay at home mom for just over 10 years now, by the time my daughter starts school it will be 12 years. 12 years I have been home with little humans around me, to care for, to play with, clean up after, snuggle with, all day every day. But when my daughter starts school, thats it. She is my last baby. What will I do?

I have two businesses now as it is, Sugarplum And Applesauce , and my newest, Inspired By Five. Well 3 if you count this blog. For the first time ever I will actually be able to work without interruptions. But it is not the work I am wondering about. It is more about how I will spend my day without little humans around me all the time? How will it be to not be needed like that ever again? Not not have my day revolve around someone else?

I love having my kids home, but I also love sending them off to school and seeing them grow and blossom into their own individual special person.

But lets face it, going 12 years with someone always home with me, to having no one home will be a big change. And yes I know it is not for another 2 years, but 2 years in motherhood passes a lot faster than 2 years any where else! I can’t help thinking about it now. Maybe it is in attempt to prepare myself for it. Or so I can cherish this time that much more? I don’t know why, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

At some point every mom goes through this, its natural and unavoidable. But that doesn’t mean it is easy.

I know these next two years will pass by in a blur. A blur of snuggles, playing, reading, tantrums, play time, more tantrums and so much love.

I love my little humans and the time I have been given with them. It is so quick, but so jammed packed with awesomeness.

outdoor fun

~ Michelle

Back To School. Grade 5 & Grade 4.


My boys are back to school. Its hard to believe. The summer went by in a blur. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I just sent my boys off to Grade 5 and Grade 4! I still remember those grades like they were yesterday! Especially Grade 5, a lot happened that year. I was living in Kenya. I met friends that are still in my life today. I had my appendix out. Which resulted in 3 hospital visits after that including another hospital stay.   I went on a school trip to Mt. Kenya, which resulted in one of the hospital visits and being sent home early. Good times.
And now here I am, the mother of a son in Grade 5 and another son in Grade 4.

I remember thinking when I was little that the days would just drag  on and on. But now, it is as if someone has push the fast forward button on my life. I’m not sure I am ready for this. Every time I feel like I have my kids figured out, they go and grow up and change on me. Always changing, always growing.

I wonder if my parents ever felt like this? If they did they never let on. Maybe they just had better poker faces that I do, or they just handled it all a lot better than I am.

Lets be real here for a minute. Completely honest. I am a complete wreck over how fast my kids are growing up. I don’t feel like I am handling it all that well. I am an emotional wreck. I feel like I am constantly playing catch up. Always just one step behind them. Just when I think I have it all figured out, they go and grow up a bit more, not a lot, just enjoy to change every single thing!

Something else, HOW AM I OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE KIDS IN GRADE 5 AND GRADE 4?! Ok… never mind lets not go there.

Back to the important thing here… My kids. School. Such a bitter sweet thing! I am so incredible proud of them! They are such awesome little humans. They love school. They do well in school. They behave in school! But they are growing too fast. I love watching them grow and reach new milestones, but does it have to happen so damn fast?! This mama isn’t fully prepared for it.

Time to pull up my big girl panties, and handle this like the mom boss that I am!

Onward and upward.

Forever changing and forever growing.

Now… If I could get people to stop telling me when my daughter will start school and talk about how quickly that is coming, that would be awesome!

~ Michelle

So Many Passions

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Oh Monday. I have such a love/hate relationship with you. Monday for me is like a mini new years, in that I feel energized, motivated, hopeful, and dream big. But it is also Monday, and Monday can be a little mean. Monday is the Murphy Law of the week, if something can go wrong, it will. Yet every week my hopes grow, and every week… well Monday.

I have so many things I want to accomplish. So many plans. So many ideas floating around in my head. It is completely overwhelming. I have no clue where to start. I try writing out lists, but my lists end up having lists, and those lists have sub-lists, and it never ends.

I have so many passions and not nearly enough time. I want to do it all. And I will do it all. I just have to figure out how to manage my time so I can do it all. I love my blog. Its pretty awesome if you ask me. I love my first business I started, it has grown into something I never expected it to. Sugarplum And Applesauce is my baby. I found a new passion in my new jewelry business, Inspired By Five. And now I have a new passion I never knew I had, making wooden signs. I made two for my parents and I have so many more in the works. But it comes back to time. Everything takes time. Especially if you want something done right and done well.

Of course there is my biggest passion, and life calling, who I am, however you want to refer to it, I am a mother to three beautiful children. I love my kids. They drive me completely crazy but they are my life, and they bring me so much joy, and they steal so much sleep from me, but they are prefect and I love them.

So instead of setting out 10 goals for the week, I only have one. Organize my thoughts and ideas, and figure out which ones can be done first, and make an action plan to accomplish everything I want.

Being a mom is my first and most important job, but I still want and need to do other things and follow my own dreams and passions that don’t involve my kids. Which is easy enough to say, another thing to figure out the time, and whole other thing to get over the mom guilt of it. Yes there is mom guilt. I hate mom guilt. I have it all the time, and its stupid, and a waste of time I know that. However I still can’t shake it at times.

So this week, is about organizing my thoughts and ideas and passions. That shouldn’t take too long, right?! … I may need more than a week.

What do you hope to accomplish this week? What are your goals?

~ Michelle

 

Backyard Painting With A Shower Curtain

A few weeks ago I was on Facebook and I saw that Todays Parent Magazine shared this story about a moms amazing backyard for her kids. I fell completely in love with her yard! It is amazing! I want to play in it. It also got me thinking. I don’t have a forest in my backyard, but I do have a backyard for my kids, and I have been thinking of what to do about painting with my toddler. My toddler LOVES to paint. But paper outside just doesn’t seem to do it, and we would paint right on the fence, but she didn’t like to finger paint on that. So this is where this article gave me the solution.

Hang up a clear shower curtain in the backyard! Its perfect! The rain can wash it clean, or you can. And the possibilities for my little artist are endless!

We didn’t have two trees close enough to tie it to like the mom in the article. So this is what we did, and you can to! All you need is a shower curtain, string, and a fence!

First stop, the dollar store!

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Next go outside, get some string, and string it through the loops. Next tie up the ends to the fence! Poke holes in the bottom so you can tie down the bottom corners as well!

Next step, get paint and have fun!

Even the big kids got into it! Everyone LOVED IT!

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This has quickly become the favourite spot in the backyard!

We put this up yesterday and already this morning my toddler was asking for this as soon as she finished breakfast!

I have a feeling we will be going through a lot more paint now!

~ Michelle

One Step At A Time

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Oh, what will this week hold? What do I hope to accomplish this week?

I am starting this week out completely and utterly overwhelmed, filled with anxiety, stress, and I’m already tired. I want to think positive, I want to believe that this week will turn out completely wonderful. But honestly, thinking that positive just seems like a lot of work right now. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try. One step at a time. One step at a time.

So this week I decided to start writing out weekly goals again. I hope it will help me to focus, and relax, so I can accomplish everything I need to, and mostly so I don’t end up crying on the kitchen floor. (Why is it always the kitchen floor?!)

So my goals for this week:

Home:

1. Get on top of laundry. Laundry is seriously evil.
2. Nightly clean up. Some days, especially lately I am just too tired at night, but I always regret it in the morning.
3. Home cooked meals. Having home cooked meals every night helps everyone moods and not to mention everyones tummy!

Family:

4. Have more non-tv family nights. Movie nights are fun, but card game nights… those are hilarious.
5. Go for more walks. I miss walks. We haven’t go on many walking adventures this summer. And that make me sad. I like going on walks with my kids.

Personal:

6. Remember that I am only one person and there is only so much I can do in a single day.
7. Starting working out regularly. My workouts have been so random, most days I don’t have time, but I need to start making the time!

Work:

8. Focus on one thing at time. I have a million ideas, but I can’t do them all at the exact same time!
9. Clean up and organize my work space.
10. Step out of my comfort zone.

What do you hope to accomplish today? This week?

I really hope this week is a good week. I really hope my anxiety monster stays at bay. This week is going to take a lot of effort. I hope my toddler lets me sleep this week! If she doesn’t that possibility of me crying on the kitchen floor will most likely happen.

~ Michelle

Why I Do Not Eat Oreos Anymore

I count my lucky stars every day that I have never had to call 911 for one of my children. However there was one time that I should have and didn’t. And I thank God every day that nothing worse happened and that everything worked out.

My parents had taken my boys on a trip last month. That meant it was girl time for my daughter and I. One on one time with her is rare during the summer. So I looked forward to it.

We had a blast. She asked to have her nails painted about a million times. We watched movies, and had snacks. I attempted to do her hair, which she hated, but I loved. We played with dolls, trucks, built towers. Ok, I built towers, she knocked them down. It was a wonderful time.

It was wonderful, until we were sitting on the sofa together watching TV and eating Oreos that everything went wrong. She was sitting right next to me. She was right next to me. Our legs were touching. We were just watching TV. Thats when my daughter started to hit me. I looked at her. Pure horror on her face. She looked like she was screaming but no noise was coming out. Tears were streaming down her face. She was trying to get into my arms. She just wanted to snuggle into my chest. She was chocking on her cookies. My heart stopped. My first thought was “IF I call 911 they won’t be here in time. I have to do this myself.”

This was the first time I have experienced this. My instincts took over. I flipped my daughter over. She was fighting me so much. Tears still coming down her face. Her lips starting to turn colour. Her face was wrong. All wrong. I tried to flip her over and she was just clawing at me. She just wanted to be in my arms, where she knows she is safe. Pure horror on her face. She was fighting me. Clawing at me. Her eyes pleading with me. She just wanted me to hold her. I finally got her flipped over long enough that I was able to put my fingers in her mouth to see if I could get out what was blocking her air way. THANK GOD I did. I was able to get the mashed up cookie out. A sound I never thought I would be so happy to hear happened. My daughter screamed. It felt like forever. Hours could have passed, it felt like so long. But she screamed. She could finally make a noise. She screamed. My heart started beating again and I could breathe again too. My daughter still wasn’t breathing right though. I got her to throw up. She threw up 3 times, all over me, my floor, everything within reach was covered in black Oreo puke. I didn’t care. I didn’t care that my arms and chest had scratch marks from my daughter. All I cared about was my daughter. And she was breathing again, normally. She found her way back to my arms and chest. Her head finally resting on my chest with my arms wrapped around her. Tears still streaming down both of our faces. Puke dripped down my legs.

I have no idea how long we sat like that, and I didn’t care.

My daughter was breathing again. I was breathing again. My daughters lips went back to their beautiful pink colour. The horror from her eyes was gone.

I have never cried so hard in my life and I still cry when I think of what happened. That look of horror on my daughters face, her silent screaming, her lips changing colour, the way she clawed to be in my arms. I will never forget any of it. The look on her face is forever burned into my mind. It still haunts me at night. It haunts me at every meal time. It haunts me all the time.

I am still haunted by the “what if” of it all. I can’t being to fathom how close I was to my world changing.

Looking back I should have called 911. What if I couldn’t reach the blockage? What if I couldn’t get her to throw up after? What if it took too long to clear her air way? All of these were a possibility. A very real possibility. And if I had waited to see it for sure would have been too late. Thank God it wasn’t. Thank God my sweet precious girl is still here. Thank God He was watching out for us that day.

My daughter has eaten Oreos hundreds of times before this. But she hasn’t touched them since. I haven’t let her. I can’t even look at a package of Oreos at the store without my breathe catching, my heart skips a beat and I have to fight back tears.

My daughter is ok. My daughter is perfectly fine. But the horror that was on her face. The feel of her mouth around my fingers. The feeling of her clawing at my arms and chest. The colour of her lips. I will never forget these things.

Should I have called 911? Well thats easy to debate since my daughter is ok now. But in that moment. Looking back I believe I should have. IF… IF… IF something had gone wrong, if it had gone any differently, I would have never forgiven myself.

I had my daughters life in my hands, and I had no clue what I was doing, but thankfully, it all worked out.

outdoor fun

~ Michelle

Lets Talk Dreams

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Monday, lets do this. Today I am pumped. I am excited. I am hopeful. I am happy. I am blown away. Also I am a whole lot of anxious. But lets focus on the good.

I told you awhile back about my new adventure, following my dream, my new business Inspired By Five. It has always been a dream of mine to create and design jewelry. And now I am. I took the leap. Or rather my husband pushed me off the edge. Either way here I am.

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I have a small circle of friends and family. I’m a major introvert and it takes a bit for me to let someone in. So like I said, my circle is small. So I knew starting off the new business with zero money put away for any kind of advertising I would be relying on my awesome family and friends to help spread the word, and hashtags. I love hashtags. And Instagram. Instagram and hashtags are sorta of my happy place. Any who…

Yesterday I woke up and chased my kids around like normal, wrote out my grocery list, and decided to check on my social media accounts. There waiting for me was an order. Not just any order but an order for two, yes TWO Sea Glass Necklaces! Dude, I was so excited. Like happy dance in my kitchen happy. That was quickly followed by another order! 3 orders in one day. I was truly blown away! I still am.

I dreamed of this, but still in my wildest dreams I did not think I would be here. You know? Its crazy, right?

So here I am, Monday morning. The morning after. And I am thrilled. But being the anxiety filled person I am there is also my anxiety cloud following me around. Especially because I sent out a package of two necklaces, and until I know that they got to their home sweet home, I worry. It gives me major anxiety. Last week I sent out two packages and I was a wreck till I got word that they made it. I never expected to feel like this. Actually I never thought about it all. But I guess it is something I have to learn to deal with.

So right now, I want to focus on the good. The happy. The excitement. All the warm fuzzy feelings.

I also have to adult. So I have to focus on this week and my kids. I have a what seems like 37938202873893048 appointments this week. This week is all about balance. Balance of looking at the big picture of everything that has to be done, keeping track of it all, working on my business, being a kick ass mom and wife, but also just taking it one day at a time.

Deep breaths.

I can do this. I will do this. I will totally rock this week!

~ Michelle

Moms Command Centre

Its that time of year again. Back to school.
Its a time filled with mixed emotions, excitement and anxiety. But mostly for me its a time to reorganize after a summer of fun.
I want to share with you a “Command Centre” I made up a couple of years ago.
Want your own Command Centre?
Start off with a wall with a lot of space that is in a room in your house that you will be in every day. I picked my kitchen.

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Next you will need a calendar. I LOVE the Ultimate Mom Calendar. Its all sorts of awesome. It is huge so there is tons of space for writing down appointments and notes and anything else you may need to write down.

Next I find a white board/ cork board / chalk board works wonders.
Or if you are like me, all 3. Because, why not?

I found this beauty of a chalk board while out on a drive with my hubby at some handmade store we passed by. I’m in love with it.

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( I love the message the kids put on it).

Put all these pieces together, and Ta-Da! A Command Centre for the school year!

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The chalk board is used for meal lists, and to-do lists for mom and dad and to hold mail.
Calendar is for the family.
The cork board and white board at the end is for the boys. Reminders for school, pin up paper work and such.

Now to stay on top of the school year and all the kids projects, deadlines and appointments!
~Michelle

I Want To Do It ALL!

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

What a whirlwind this summer has been! I can’t believe it is already August! Where as the time gone?

Summer is soon coming to an end. I have already done back to school shopping! I’ve been so busy with all the running around, errands, shopping, water fights, and such that my poor blog has been left alone. I have missed my little blog. My little slice of the internet. My escape and my release.

I don’t know what it is, but today I woke up with such determination to get so much done, and such a strong urge to blog, that I am just going with it. I must say, it is nice to be back.

Usually on Monday’s I write out To-Do Lists and goals. But today I just want to accomplish EVERYTHING that I don’t really have a list. If that even makes sense? See something amazing happened last night! My beautiful toddler actually slept all night on her own! This hasn’t happened in… well I can’t even remember when the last time she did this was, thats how long ago it was. So maybe that is the reason behind my sudden burst of energy!

Do you know what else could be behind my sudden burst of energy? My husband and I are planning a road trip in October. This will be our first real trip as a family of five! We have done Niagara Falls for a couple nights, but thats a few hours from home. This trip, we hope, will be a week long trip down to the states! I am equal parts nervous and anxiety filled, but also totally excited and over joyed!

I have a feeling today will be a great day. I will get a lot accomplished. Today will be a good day! I will make it a good day! I am not wasting my one night of sleep on a crap day!

So now to clean, organize, work, sew, make necklaces, spend time with the kids, workout, blog, read, run errands, meal prep, meal plan, and have a fantastic day!

What do you hope to accomplish today?

~ Michelle

Motherhood Has Taught Me How To Have A Good Time

There are some things I took for granted before I had kids. There for some things that I just thought were down right boring. Sometimes both of these ideas were for the same thing. Now I am a mom. I have three beautiful children. My toddler, the smallest has enough energy for 10 toddlers and hates sleep. And my two boys, they think its cool when they wake up before the sun. Oh the fun we have around here!

Blame it on being in my 30s now. Blame it on motherhood. Blame it on being completely worn out that my body screams in pain some days. But there are now things in my life that I absolutely love, that my previous self found down right boring.

So here is a list of things that I find totally lovely and wonderful. I would love to experience any one of these things on any given day.


1. Being able to drink a full cup of tea/coffee in one sitting while it is still hot.

2. Eating a meal without getting up, breaking up a sibling argument or being grossed out by the conversation my boys have. Seriously some things just do not need to be talked about during dinner.

3. Having a shower alone. Or even better yet a bath. Especially during school holidays I would really like that time alone.

4. That extremely rare feeling when ALL the laundry is done. Like I said it is extremely rare and only lasts about three seconds. Cherish it when it happens!

5. Going to bed early, bonus points if I am alone. Which now that I have a toddler that co-sleeps… that would be a never one this.

6. The ability to watch a whole movie in one sitting. Seriously. I miss this. It now takes me about 3-4 nights to watch a movie. Especially if the movie can’t be watched around children.

7. Working out. Oh how I used to take the fact that I could workout without being interrupted for granted. Or even have the time for it without having to put something else off till later.

8. Going to the store alone and getting items that were needed and without a meltdown from someone (sometimes even me!). Especially grocery shopping. Never, EVER, take three kids to the grocery store when they are hungry. Especially a toddler. Nightmare.

9. Talking to another adult without having to spell out words or read lips. Seriously. Simple conversation.

10. Talking on the phone. Ok, this one I can do without, I don’t actually like talking on the phone. In fact I hate it. But sometimes it has to get done, like calling doctors offices and such. Somehow my kids always time their meltdowns or fights for the exact moment that I get on the phone.

11. Eating candy / ice cream without sharing. Seriously. Its MY chocolate bar!

12. Having an afternoon nap. Or sleeping in. Or sleeping all night. I miss sleep.

13. Reading a book. Within a decent amount of time so I don’t have to go back and restart it because I forgot the beginning already.

Any one of these things would make me super happy. Combine a couple of them and I would be on cloud nine.

What things do you find totally enjoyable that others may find boring?

~ Michelle