Why Mom Should Get To Spend The Day Alone On Mother’s Day

Mothers Day is quickly approaching, and I have been seeing so many posts and articles all saying the same thing “10 Reasons Moms Should Get A Day Alone”, or something along those lines. The post then proceeds to list off all the reasons why a mom should get a day alone. I’m sure you have seen these posts, they show up every year. So being a mom, I thought I would throw my two cents in.


Let me just start by saying that I hate these type of articles. Mothers have a hard enough job as it is. We are moms, first off. We take care of our families, our house, the family schedule. We grow another human inside of us! We have to defend every choice we make. How we became mothers (Adoption, step parent), how we got pregnant, what age we got pregnant at, activity level during pregnancy, how we choose to bring our how child into the world, what we feed our babies, if we stay home with our kids, if we go to work, I could go on. The list is endless. For real.

Then once a year here comes Mother’s Day. A day that is supposed to be set aside to honour mothers, spoil mothers, let mothers know how much our families appreciate all our hard work. Then come these articles and blog posts, which are filled with nothing more than lists of multiple reasons defending and justifying yet another choice of ours – the choice to spend the day alone.

Don’t we have enough to defend without having to list off a whole bunch of reasons to justify what we want, on our special day of all days?

So I will tell you the reason, not 10 reasons, not 20 reasons, one reason, no arguments, no justifying, no defending, one reason why a mother should get to spend the day alone. Here it is: Because she damn well wants to.

No mother, scratch that, no person, should have to argue, defend, justify, be made to feel guilty, or give a list of reasons as to why they want a day alone.

The simple fact that a person asks for, needs, deserves a day alone, should be respected, and accepted without question.

Mom, if you want to spend the day alone, if that is what you want, I hope you get it! I hope you a relaxing day alone and that its all you ever dreamed of.

Now, I don’t know about you, I personally have never spent a Mother’s Day alone. But I will be honest with you, the thought of it does sound nice. Maybe I will ask for that this year.

~ Michelle

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Self Care

Hello New Day.
Hello New Week.
Hello New Adventure.

HelloMonday

Last week, yet again, I wrote about getting back on track, back to the basics. Do you know how many times I have written something like that? A lot. Why? Because I keep falling, I keep going down the wrong path, I take 50 steps back. But do you know what I also do? I always try to get back up again, and each time I do I end up learning something new about myself. I find new strength in myself. I find new passions. I find a new way of looking at things.

Something  I have learned over and over and over again, is that I suck at self care. I blame it on my anxiety and depression. Do you know what else I have learned over and over and over again? Self care is super important. Like really important. But still, I suck at it. My anxiety and depression monsters tell me I am not worthy of it. I don’t deserve it. I am not worth it. My time would be better spent doing something else. That I am selfish if I want to spend time alone, do something just for me. Its hard. It really is. These monsters, they are so loud. They are so powerful. They are so convincing at times. They wear me down, they drain all of my energy until I can no longer fight them.

I have decided to start yet another journey, this one about self care. I have also started a fitness journey. They happen to be one in the same. For the first time my fitness and workouts are not about actual physical fitness, they are purely for my mental health. And you know what? I enjoy my workouts even more now. I don’t feel pressure about how much weight I may or may not lose, how many calories I am eating, because right now, they don’t matter, they are not my priority. Don’t get me wrong, my psychical health and over all health is important, they just aren’t my focus right now when doing my workouts. As I focus on my mental health, everything else is falling into place. I feel better after I workout, and so I make better choices about the food I put in my body, and slowly I have started to feel better both physically and mentally.

Lets be honest here, I don’t know how long this will last. I don’t know how long I will be able to do this. I don’t know how long it will be till the monsters knock me back down again. But what I do know is that when that happens, I will get back up again, eventually, slowly, but surely, I will get back up. I will continue to try. I will learn something new. I will find new strength. I will continue this dance with the monsters, trying to tame them, over come them??? Honestly I am not sure, but I will not give up, that I am sure of.

How do you take care of yourself? How do you make sure you are getting enough of what you need? I would love to hear! Leave a comment or message me!

You can follow along with me on Instagram as I try to do this thing called Self Care.

~ Michelle

How I Gave My Daughter Separation Anxiety With A Pixar Movie

I try to be a good mom. Every day I try. I try to be the best mom I can be to my beautiful children. Some days are better than others. However I never thought I could or would give my daughter separation anxiety. And most definitely I never thought it would be caused by a Pixar movie! Of all things, a Pixar movie! A movie made for children!

My beautiful girl. We have always had a close relationship, going back on 2 and half years now! But seriously, we have always had a close relationship. I joke that it is because I was on bedrest for pretty much her entire pregnancy so it was just me and her alone in a room and she never got used to anyone else’s voice. Breastfeeding for a year and half may have contributed to our close relationship as well.

The other day I thought it would be a good idea to watch Finding Nemo with my daughter, you know getting her ready for Finding Dory. My daughter right away realized something happened to the mommy in the start of the film. And kept asking for her. When Nemo went missing, she got so sad. She kept saying over and over “Nemo gone”.

And now thanks to watching what I thought would be a cute movie, my daughter freaks out when I leave the room. At night my husband can no longer put her to bed, she has to know where I am at all times. At night when she wakes up she calls for both of us just to make sure we are both there still.

My sons grew up watching Finding Nemo and it never once bothered them. I never imagined it would cause this reaction in my daughter. Can you say hello Mommy Guilt?!

Despite the happy ending in Finding Nemo, she still asks at the end of the movie if they will find the mommy. Hello Mommy Guilt! “Nemo mama gone. Gone! Nemo mama gone!”

I seriously question now why I didn’t see this coming, why I didn’t think of this before hand?! My poor daughter! This was not the reaction I thought was going to happen. I figured she would just love the little fish, just like her brothers did!

Mommy Guilt comes in many shapes and sizes, never did I expect to give my own daughter a bad case of separation anxiety! As if we don’t spend a lot of time together, I am a stay at home mom, and we co-sleep, yet I still managed to freak her out.

So now the question… Do I hide Finding Dory and Finding Nemo forever and never let her watch either one, or maybe I should let her watching Finding Dory and she will be happy as Dory finds both of her parents at the end! Maybe I can help undo the damage of Finding Nemo?!

~ Michelle